There were tears, questions, gin. My mom was in shock the first conversation we had. No one really understands. I want to just tell them I am doing this because I am madly in love with Him, but until our road trip, until we have our first kiss, I feel a bit weird expressing these feelings to my family. I feel weird telling them I am moving for a guy, even though I mostly am.
The next day I had lunch with just my mom. She wanted to know why I would choose to move to Alaska, to the middle of nowhere. I tried to explain what draws me to village life. I thought that was the right move. I may have been wrong.
Tonight, during my grandma's birthday dinner, I was ambushed by my family. They feel I am making a rash, manic decision and not thinking things through. I guess it is hard to explain that I have been planning this for months. It is not just something I decided to do last week. i have prayed about it, wrote about it, talked to my friends about it, did research. I am following my heart, but I am not jumping blindly into this.
My mom wants to know that I have deep feelings. I cannot even describe how I feel to my mom. It is so intimate. And insane. I know that this move makes no sense to anyone but us. I am okay with that. I am happy my brother seems supportive. I just hope that soon enough my family accepts my choice and will be happy for me. I cannot wait to start my new Alaskan life with the love of my life.